Today was a big milestone day. A once in a lifetime day for Katelyn and I. Katelyn got engaged last week to Nate, and today we went wedding dress shopping for the first, and as it turns out, the last time. We didn't expect to find her a dress today. We were sure it would take a few times. She tried on several very pretty dresses. But none that had that "This is the one" feeling....until the last one. Near the end of the second appointment, after she'd pretty much ruled out A-line dresses and decided she preferred fit and flair, the consultant said, "Well I had one more dress pulled, but I hesitate to have you try it now because I don't think you'll like it since it's an A-line." She paused a minute and then said to Katelyn, "You know let's try it anyway. What do you say to one more?" Katelyn agreed to give it a shot even though, she told us later, she really didn't like it on the hanger. Well, she walked out in that dress, my breath caught and I started crying. She was stunningly beautiful! She turned and saw herself in the mirror and she started crying. Soon her friend and both bridal consultants were crying too. Several people in the store stopped to tell her how stunning and how radiant she looked, and that she absolutely had to buy the dress, because it was obviously made for her. It was a rather overwhelming a moment. As we talked about alterations that would be needed I could see that the price was weighing heavily on her, as it was more than we had planned. I tried to reassure her that it would be fine, that we'd figure out how to cut costs elsewhere. And then the sweetest thing happened. An older woman, shopping for a dress for her daughter's wedding, came over to the two of us. She looked at Katelyn and asked if she could please say something to her. She told her that it was apparent to everyone how much Katelyn loved that dress, that it was obvious that it was the one. And then she told us that she felt so strongly about it, that if it was okay, she wanted to give us $100 toward the purchase of the dress. We all burst into tears all over again. We were so stunned and overwhelmed by her generosity and sweetness, and it was a gesture that allowed Katelyn to let go of her hesitation and embrace this dress. We tried to get her name and address so that we could send her an invitation, but she declined and just asked us to pay it forward some day. We both hugged her a few times before we left the store. This sweet woman made an already unforgettable day and experience all the sweeter and more memorable. It is all so very real now. My baby girl is getting married!! And she has the dress!!

PS This is obviously NOT the dress we bought. You'll have to wait until the wedding day to see that one posted anywhere. :)

Life Continues

I have been about as good at keeping up a blog as I am at keeping up a journal - which is horrible, as evident from the two year gap. However, I have gotten a few promptings in recent weeks that it was time to give it a shot again. The question is, "Where to start?"

My last post was written shortly after my oldest left for his 2 year mission. He's now been home for a couple months. Much has happened in those two years: Number 1 served an honorable mission, The Girly graduated from high school & got a scholarship for 2 years at the local community college, and Stitch started high school, turned 16 and officially entered the dating world. There have been lots of laughs, tears, fun times, trials and changes - the most difficult change and trial coming just in the last few months.

My Dad died. My strong, tough, big hearted, invincible Dad....died.

He had been battling prostate cancer for nine years, but, until July, we always held out hope that he would beat it. In July we got the word that there was nothing left to do. Nothing that was slowing the rapid spread of the cancer. All we could do was take advantage of the time we had to spend with him, make sure nothing was left unsaid, and say our goodbyes. It was a blessing and torture all at the same time, as we watched him grow weaker, and more frail, and watched his pain increase.

In August we made the decision to call Number 1's mission president and have him come home from his mission two weeks early. Dad had promised him that he would be here when Number 1 returned, but Dad was burdened by the fear that he wouldn't be able to keep that promise. The relief that washed over him when his grandson walked in to surprise him, still wearing his missionary suit and badge, is a gift I am grateful we could give him. I've never seen him cry the way he did that day. It's a moment I will never forget.

The last three days and nights of his life I spent almost constantly at his side, as my stepmother, siblings, mom and I kept vigil. There was a steady stream of family and friends coming to say their farewells. We drew strength from each other as we struggled to prepare our selves for what we knew would quickly be upon us.

I prayed a lot...in my heart, throughout the days. I knew that he was going somewhere that he would be free of pain, and could finally find peace from the torment he inflicted on himself. I knew he would be greeted by loved ones. I knew this was not "goodbye", but "see you later" -- but my heart was breaking. It physically hurt to think of him not being here.

The last four hours of his life were pure agony to watch. I was certain that I would never be able to erase from my mind the sound of his tortured breathing as his lungs filled with fluid. There came a point that I had to leave the room - had to try to muffle the sound with the noise of the fan and the air conditioner in the next room. I pleaded with Heavenly Father to end it -- and when it continued, I started to ask why, what could be the purpose of prolonging it? When I thought I couldn't possibly stand another second, a thought came to my mind. The Savior felt this pain. My pain. My father's pain. The pain of all the world. He did it so that He would understand me, and what I would need to help me endure it, because He loves me. And then I thought of my Heavenly Father. How He must ache watching His children suffer through trials.  How He must have longed to flee to the farthest point in the universe to escape watching the unfathomable agony His perfect son chose to suffer for each of us. Did His heart ache far worse than mine, knowing that He could end His son's suffering, but that if He did His other children would be lost? It must have! At that moment I knew that our family was not forgotten. The Father and the Savior were keenly aware of our suffering, and were there to strengthen and to succor each of us.

I have continued to feel their love and strength in the weeks since. They bring peace to my heart, that I WILL see my father again, and that, though I can't see him, he's not far away. I am grateful to know that they love me, and know me and what I need. There have been tender mercies to remind me of their love, and to help me feel how close my father still is. I am truly grateful to my Savior, for choosing to endure what He did, and to my Father for allowing it to happen, so that if I strive to live as they ask,  I can return to live with them again some day.....And grateful to know that when my time comes, my Dad will be there to meet me, and wrap me up in one of his great big hugs.

I can do all things...

Last week I sat and listened to the General Relief Society broadcast to the women of the church. The concluding speaker was President Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the First Presidency of the church. He spoke of the flower the Forget-me-not, how simple and unpretentious it is, and how easily its beauty could be overlooked in a garden filled with larger, more intricate, and flashy flowers. Perhaps, he mused, that is where its name is derived – from a plea not to overlook it. He then tied this simple beautiful flower, with its five petals to five principals which we should strive not to overlook or forget.


Forget not:

…..to be patient with yourself

…..the difference between wise and foolish sacrifices

…..to be happy now

…..the why of the gospel

…..that the Lord loves you


He beautifully explained and expounded on each of these points, and as I took notes I felt that familiar warmth of the Spirit wash over me. At the same time thoughts flowed through my mind of events that have taken place in the last two months, and the last two years of my life…and the life of my family. As I pondered on the thoughts that came rushing in, I could see the particular importance that the principal of forgetting not to be happy now, and especially that of forgetting not that the Lord loves you have played in the last two years of my life.


The last two months have been rather emotional ones. They have been filled with highs and lows, beginnings and endings, and frightening unknowns looming before us. In the last two years, we have faced trials that I do not exaggerate in saying were some of my worst fears made reality. Trials which I was certain, if I ever had to face, would cause me to crumple under their weight and shatter into a million pieces. And for the first few days of those trials, I was sure they would do just that, but they didn’t. They drove me to me knees, pleading with my Heavenly Father to strengthen me, and guide me, and help me and my family to get through. My thoughts were filled with questions of Why this?, Why now?, and How will we ever survive this? I have not yet received answers to why (or perhaps I have just not recognized them yet), but the Lord showed me the how as He poured out peace and comfort and guidance. He provided me with the strength that I lacked on my own, and then showed me how to continue to find joy and laughter and happiness even in the midst of frightening trials. I learned for myself the truth of Phillipians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Because I know that it is only through Him that I, and my family, not only endured, but grew as individuals, and grew closer together. Faith and testimonies were deepened. I learned things about myself, and finally found the answers to why of previous trials, because I turned to the Lord for help through these trials. I don’t know that I can say I would choose to repeat the last two years, but I am grateful for the lessons that I learned from them.


I know that with the love of my Heavenly Father and of my Savior, Jesus Christ, and with the guidance of the Spirit I can do hard things…I can face any trial…and I can find joy in even the most difficult parts of the journey.

Extended Family

What an amazing day! The chapel was filled for Christopher's farewell talk. It felt so wonderful to be surrounded by family and friends that we consider family. When Bro. Gavin from the stake high council spoke he commented that one of the best indications there is of how well a missionary will do in the field is the amount of support that he receives from home, and that based on the number of people crammed into the chapel to be there for Christopher, he would do very well. He also spoke of the amazing ward that Christopher grew up in, and the tremendous influence the people of that ward had on him. He was absolutely right about that. The interesting twist is that he assumed the ward Christopher grew up in is the ward in which we live now. He assumed that all the extra people in the chapel today were primarily our (biological) family. What he didn't realize is that most of the extra people at church today are from the ward where Christopher did most of his growing up. The ward where he started as a toddler and left as a teen. The ward that truly became family to us. Many of us have moved to other wards now, but we have stayed a family. They are the people who have had our backs, laughed with us, cried with us and been through every kind of thick and thin for the past 16 years. And they were there today, to continue showing there love and support of our family. I was overjoyed to have them all there, and grateful for the blessing of having them in our lives and helping us raise our children.


Now, so you don't get the wrong idea, and think that I am somehow dismissing the influence and amazingness of our ward now, I want to say this....It was tremendously hard to leave our last ward, we were certain we could never find another group of people as great as the ones we were leaving, but we were wrong. Bro. Gavin wasn't wrong when he spoke of what tremendous people they are. This ward too has been an incredible blessing and support to our family. We have made great knew friends, and they have been great influences on and examples to us for the past 5 years. I commented to a sister at church today that if we could somehow merge our old ward and our new ward, we would be an unstoppable force for good. I think that would be pretty darn close to heaven for me.

So sitting in church today with members of the family I grew up in, and then surrounded by members of the family I have acquired over the past 16 years, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for filling our life with so many people who love and care for us, for extending our family to include so many. I truly hope that in the next life we all get to live close to each other, because I can't imagine eternity without all of the people who make this life so good.

Christmas Surprises

I love it when I actually manage to surprise people with the gift they recieve, especially my kids.  This year the hubby and I managed to surprise each of them with something they were convinced that they wouldn't be recieving because of the cost. Stitch was so stunned he even cried. That's right, my 13 year old boy cried for happiness and shock.  I have pictures to prove it!! (but I promised not to make them public :))  The trash pile was smaller this year than some in the past (we went for quality rather than quantity), but that didn't matter. It was a wonderful day!

Here are my adorable children in their Christmas pjs.

(They're such hams in front of the camera - always have been!)

(Number One, me, father-in-law, hubby, mother-in-law,

sister-in-law, The Girlie, Stitch, Shasta)

The mess after opening.

Picture's not the greatest because of the sun coming through a high window, but man it was fun to watch my hubby push the button on the camera and then run down the stairs (several times) and jump over the trash pile to get in the picture.

Me and my brother David.

We don't always get to see him at Christmas...and for awhile we weren't sure it would happen this year. I am very grateful to my wonderful mother-in-law and sister-in-law who gave him a ride over with them so that he could be here.

Mom and David.

He is always so happy to be with her.

The Greatest Gift

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

~ Isaiah 9:6

How grateful I am for the priceless gift given to the world on that first Christmas so many centuries ago. For the lessons taught and example set  by the man that the blessed child grew to be. And how much more grateful I am for the gift He gave each of us with His suffering in Gethsemane, and His death on Calvary. For though His birth and life were miraculous and holy, it is His death that saved us all, and gave us the power to return again to that home from which we came, to dwell with Him and our Father, if we accept and take advantage of His tremendous gift of the atonement.  I know that He lives. That He came. That He loves me.  And I know that if I strive to live as He taught, I will have the blessing one day to thank Him in person.

May we all remember the gift we recieved on that first Christmas, not just today, but everyday that we live.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve! Soon my husband and his sister will leave for their annual last minute shopping day. (I suspect they purposely leave a few things unpurchased just so they have the excuse to take off and spend the day together.)  And soon my mother-in-law and I will begin preparing all the food for tomorrow. Several years ago we decided that the traditional Christmas dinner wasn't working for us. We were tired of spending the day cooking while everyone else enjoyed their new presents and sat around relaxing.  So we changed the tradition.  All the foods we have now can be prepared the day before, and the only cooking done on Christmas is done by the men.

Tomorrow after presents we will enjoy a brunch of omelets prepared by Brian and his dad. Then we will snack away the afternoon eating spinach dip & sourdough, cheeseball and crackers, chips, ranch dip and salsa, and a variety of baked goods and candies. For dinner we'll have tri-tip kabobs that have been soaked for at least 24 hours in the most delicious marinade ever, as well as lebanese tabouleh & pita bread, and rice pilaf. Again, the men barbeque so Mom and I only have to make the pilaf.  It's a very yummy and relaxing day....last year I spent the whole day in my pajamas. 

So yesterday, which was filled with baking and last minute gift making, and today that will be filled with wrapping and food prep, are rather hectic, but it's all worth it on Christmas day, when I can just enjoy being with my family and eating good food.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone!

Happy Veteran's Day

This picture is from April 15 of this year, at a Tax Day Tea Party that I went to at the state capital with my dad.

I was born a Navy brat. And though I officially remained one for only the first 19 years of my life, I will always be a Navy brat at heart.....and proud of it!! My father served his country for twenty years, including time in Viet Nam. Our family sacrificed so that he could serve. But I learned a love of country that I think is deeper because of that sacrifice.

No one serves in the military because they dream it will make them rich. And no one marries someone in the service because they dream of a life of ease. Military service demands sacrifice, from those enlisted and the people who love them. And to willingly make those sacrifices you have to love your country. I think that is a harder task these days. You have to be willing to lay down your life for principles that are under attack by our own government, and that fewer and fewer citizens seem to understand and truly believe in. Our military personnel and the job they are doing are too often misrepresented in the media, and they are too ill cared for when they get home.......if they get home.

Any man or woman who ever has or ever will put on the uniform of this country, to proudly serve and represent each of us and the flag worn on their sleeve, deserves the utmost respect, support, love and gratitiude that we can possibly give.

I am proud to be the daughter of a veteran.

I am proud to be a ctizen of this country.

And I am forever grateful to the men and women of our armed forces, as well as their families, for the sacrifices they make daily, so that my family can enjoy the freedoms that we do.

Happy Veteran's Day!!! May God bless and protect each of you!!