Working on Cleaning the Windows

I got a couple of wake-up calls this week and have been doing some self examination. Not always a fun thing to do.

The first came last Saturday while listening to a talk given by President Thomas S. Monson, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He opened by telling a story of a newlywed couple. Every morning the young wife would comment on the dinginess of the laundry being hung out to dry by the neighbor across the street. She would tell her husband that she didn't now how the neighbor was washing her clothes, but that she would be ashamed to hang out such dirty laundry. Then one morning as she looked out to see the neighbor hanging beautifully bright, clean clothes out on the line. She mused outloud about who must have finally taught the woman to launder the clothes properly. The husband then responded that he had gotten up early that morning, gone outside .... and washed the windows.

President Monson went on to admonish us not to pass judgement on others without first making sure that our own windows are clean. I've pondered a lot on that talk this week. As much as I like to tell myself that I try not to pass judgement on others, if I'm truly honest with myself, I know that I'm not as good at that as I'd like to think, especially when it comes to my siblings. Don't get me wrong, I love them all very much, and I'm proud to have grown up in the family that I did, but I'd be lying if I said I have great relationships with all my siblings. Sometimes our views on things are quite different. There have often been times I haven't agreed with choices they make or ways they choose to live their lives. I thought I did a better job of hiding those feelings than I evidently have, and have inadvertantly strained relationships with siblings. I don't take all the blame for tenuous relationships, we've all done our share of damage, but I'm finally admitting that I am not as blameless as I liked to think. I hope that's the first step to making things better. I'm not sure yet what the next step is, but I'm sure if I keep pondering and listening, the Lord will help me figure it out.

Another of my faults came clearly to the forefront this week. I nearly lost a friendship, at least I hope it was only nearly lost, and that we're on the path to fixing it. I have a tendency to get tunnel vision in my life, and not think about or notice things, or people, that don't directly and regularly cross my path. Or I think of them at times when I can't stop and call to let them know they are thought of. Pretty sad really. My tunnel vision kept me from seeing the struggles of a friend and left her feeling abandoned for a few months. Thinking about it all this week I'm sure that my tunnel vision has impacted my siblings and parents as well. Again, I hope that recognizing the problem is the first step in fixing it, and that the Lord will help me figure it all out.

It's been a little more self-realization than I was expecting this week. And it's left me feeling a bit drained....but also hopeful. Cleaning windows has never been my favorite job, but it sure will be nice to look through clean windows when they're done.