Christmas Surprises

I love it when I actually manage to surprise people with the gift they recieve, especially my kids.  This year the hubby and I managed to surprise each of them with something they were convinced that they wouldn't be recieving because of the cost. Stitch was so stunned he even cried. That's right, my 13 year old boy cried for happiness and shock.  I have pictures to prove it!! (but I promised not to make them public :))  The trash pile was smaller this year than some in the past (we went for quality rather than quantity), but that didn't matter. It was a wonderful day!

Here are my adorable children in their Christmas pjs.

(They're such hams in front of the camera - always have been!)

(Number One, me, father-in-law, hubby, mother-in-law,

sister-in-law, The Girlie, Stitch, Shasta)

The mess after opening.

Picture's not the greatest because of the sun coming through a high window, but man it was fun to watch my hubby push the button on the camera and then run down the stairs (several times) and jump over the trash pile to get in the picture.

Me and my brother David.

We don't always get to see him at Christmas...and for awhile we weren't sure it would happen this year. I am very grateful to my wonderful mother-in-law and sister-in-law who gave him a ride over with them so that he could be here.

Mom and David.

He is always so happy to be with her.

The Greatest Gift

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

~ Isaiah 9:6

How grateful I am for the priceless gift given to the world on that first Christmas so many centuries ago. For the lessons taught and example set  by the man that the blessed child grew to be. And how much more grateful I am for the gift He gave each of us with His suffering in Gethsemane, and His death on Calvary. For though His birth and life were miraculous and holy, it is His death that saved us all, and gave us the power to return again to that home from which we came, to dwell with Him and our Father, if we accept and take advantage of His tremendous gift of the atonement.  I know that He lives. That He came. That He loves me.  And I know that if I strive to live as He taught, I will have the blessing one day to thank Him in person.

May we all remember the gift we recieved on that first Christmas, not just today, but everyday that we live.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve! Soon my husband and his sister will leave for their annual last minute shopping day. (I suspect they purposely leave a few things unpurchased just so they have the excuse to take off and spend the day together.)  And soon my mother-in-law and I will begin preparing all the food for tomorrow. Several years ago we decided that the traditional Christmas dinner wasn't working for us. We were tired of spending the day cooking while everyone else enjoyed their new presents and sat around relaxing.  So we changed the tradition.  All the foods we have now can be prepared the day before, and the only cooking done on Christmas is done by the men.

Tomorrow after presents we will enjoy a brunch of omelets prepared by Brian and his dad. Then we will snack away the afternoon eating spinach dip & sourdough, cheeseball and crackers, chips, ranch dip and salsa, and a variety of baked goods and candies. For dinner we'll have tri-tip kabobs that have been soaked for at least 24 hours in the most delicious marinade ever, as well as lebanese tabouleh & pita bread, and rice pilaf. Again, the men barbeque so Mom and I only have to make the pilaf.  It's a very yummy and relaxing day....last year I spent the whole day in my pajamas. 

So yesterday, which was filled with baking and last minute gift making, and today that will be filled with wrapping and food prep, are rather hectic, but it's all worth it on Christmas day, when I can just enjoy being with my family and eating good food.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone!

I Can See.....from a different viewpoint.

I got my first pair of glasses when I was a sophomore in high school. My Aunt Martha (better known to her nieces & nephews as Aunty Mousey....long story I won't get into now) was in town for a visit and went with Mom and I to pick them up. I didn't realize how out of focus things were until I put those glasses on. I was so excited about everything that I could suddenly see, at much further distances than I could before, that I read every sign and billboard I could on the way home. My aunty has told me several times over the ensuing years that that is one of her favorite memories of me.....seeing my excitement at being able to see clearly, and listening to me happily read signs all the way home. I always thought it was kinda funny that she got so much enjoyment out of that.




Tonight however, I got to have the same experience from her point of view. I went with my mom and nephew to pick up his new glasses. None of us realized until quite recently just how bad his vision has been. Well, when he put those new glasses on his face absolutely lit up. He looked around with this huge smile and said, "I can see again".....and then he proceeded to read every sign in the store, and every sign on the 10 mile drive home. I couldn't help but sit and grin at the excitement in his voice as he read the name of every store, restaurant, gas station and church that we passed. And I suddenly understood why Aunty Mousey enjoyed that memory so much. It's a joy to see someone you love so happy and filled with wonder. It is an experience I will always remember and a memory I will always enjoy.

Can I have a day?

I want a day.......a day to just do what I WANT to do, not what I should do, or need to do.

It feels like every moment these days is filled with the shoulds and need to's....lesson plans, grocery shopping, shuttling kids, figuring out what the heck to have for dinner and when I'm gonna have time to cook it, fulfilling church callings, and my all time favorites...laundry and cleaning. With a mom who works full time at a job that can't always be left at the office, a dad working hard to stay afloat in a job threatening to be sunk by a bad economy, and three kids who insist on having extracurricular activities 4-5 nights a week, the house is rarely truly clean anymore. When it is we try to motivate everyone to clean as we go to keep it that way, but it never works out that way for long. So moments where I don't feel compelled to do a should or need to task are rare. And I seriously want one.

A day to sew....... the apron I cut out two weeks ago, or the bag that I'm going to make with the beautiful toile nativity fabric remnant I found, or the tote a friend at work asked for. A day to pull out my beads, or photos and scrapbook supplies, and see what inspires me. A day to spend on the computer researching family history and finding lost ancestors. A day to pull out the camera and go outside and experiment with it, taking pictures of whatever sparks my interest. Or a day to just get lost in book. Can I have one? Just one day to do that?

I may have to give myself one or two for Christmas.....Throw out the to do list, or at least "lose it" for a few days, and just do a thing or two, or three or four, that I really want. Ofcourse I've said that before. So here's hoping I find the nerve to really do it this time.......because all those need to's and shoulds will certainly still be there even if I ignore them for a couple days.

Happy Veteran's Day

This picture is from April 15 of this year, at a Tax Day Tea Party that I went to at the state capital with my dad.

I was born a Navy brat. And though I officially remained one for only the first 19 years of my life, I will always be a Navy brat at heart.....and proud of it!! My father served his country for twenty years, including time in Viet Nam. Our family sacrificed so that he could serve. But I learned a love of country that I think is deeper because of that sacrifice.

No one serves in the military because they dream it will make them rich. And no one marries someone in the service because they dream of a life of ease. Military service demands sacrifice, from those enlisted and the people who love them. And to willingly make those sacrifices you have to love your country. I think that is a harder task these days. You have to be willing to lay down your life for principles that are under attack by our own government, and that fewer and fewer citizens seem to understand and truly believe in. Our military personnel and the job they are doing are too often misrepresented in the media, and they are too ill cared for when they get home.......if they get home.

Any man or woman who ever has or ever will put on the uniform of this country, to proudly serve and represent each of us and the flag worn on their sleeve, deserves the utmost respect, support, love and gratitiude that we can possibly give.

I am proud to be the daughter of a veteran.

I am proud to be a ctizen of this country.

And I am forever grateful to the men and women of our armed forces, as well as their families, for the sacrifices they make daily, so that my family can enjoy the freedoms that we do.

Happy Veteran's Day!!! May God bless and protect each of you!!

No more candid camera

I love candid shots of my kids. Some of the best photos I have ever gotten of them are ones that were taken when they didn't know it......When someone managed to catch a priceless expression, or simply beautiful moment.

HOWEVER, I am hereby declaring that NO candid shots of ME are ever allowed again!!! EVER!!!! As I scrolled through another batch of digital photos to be downloaded from the camera tonight, I came across yet ANOTHER horrible picture of myself. My sweet husband seems to have a knack for catching me with my mouth open and some ridiculous expression on my face. And the angles he seems to shoot at make me look terrible. I mean I thought the camera was only supposed to add 10 pounds, not 20 or 30! UGH!! I am starting to understand why my mother always hid whenever a camera was in the room. SOOOOO.......unless I recieve warning that a picture is about to be taken, and am given time to at least TRY to pose in a more flattering manner, HEADS WILL ROLL!!! (Do you hear me Honey!!) I'd like for my grandchildren to have at least a few decent photos of their grandma to look at, so they don't think I was just some large, freakish, slug!

(And NO.....I'm not posting any examples for anyone to look at!!)

Painful Lessons

When I was a Freshman in high school I broke my arm during gymnastics practice. No, not doing some really cool but dangerous stunt, just a simple tumbling pass. (I could go into a long explanation of why it was the wrestling teams fault for the way they put the mats back after their meet, but that's not really important to the story, so I won't...at least not anymore than I just did. :)). Anyway, the doctors couldn't set the bone and I had to have surgery to repair the break. When I woke up from surgery, and all the medication started to wear off, I was in excrutiating pain -- worse than when I broke it. I was sobbing, begging someone to make it stop. My poor father sat by my beside, holding my hand, with this devastated, heartbroken look on his face that let me know he would trade places with me in a heartbeat. (I think he even said it at one point.) That image of my sweet Daddy, hurting because I was hurting, has always stuck with me.

The other night, I got to feel that hurt for myself. The Girly came into our room at 2:30 in the morning, doubled over and crying from a pain in her hip. We laid her on the bed, trying to assess what was happening, asking for specifics on how and where it hurt. She was writhing on the bed, sobbing as the pain would periodically intensify. It didn't take long to determine that one of us had to get her to the hospital. Brian gave her a blessing as I got dressed to go. He tried to carry her downstairs and to the car, but that hurt worse, so we just supported her as best we could as she hobbled, doubled over, to the van. We put her in the back where she could lay down, and I started to the hospital as quick as I could without endangering our lives. She would periodically scream from the backseat, between the sobs that didn't stop. I thought my heart would break. A few times I started to cry, hoping she wouldn't notice since I was driving and it was dark, as I tried to be calm and reassure her that we would be there soon, and it would be okay. When we arrived and checked in they made us sit in the waiting room, her still crying out in pain. All I could do was hold her hand, speak calmly and lovingly to her, and remind her to breath. After about half an hour the pain started to subside to the point that she could bare it more easily, and talk to me again. After a few more hours it was gone. They never did figure out what it was. Just ruled out broken bones or kidney infection and sent us home.

I thought about my dad in that heartwrenching hour or so between when The Girly had come to the bedroom door and when the pain began to subside. About how he wanted to take my place when I was in pain. And about how I would have gladly, and instantly done the same for my daughter. And then I thought about my Heavenly Father and the Savior. How they must hurt as well when they see any of us in pain, physical or otherwise. But how they can take our pain from us. Maybe not always instantly, though I know that has happenend, because pain can help us to grow, and to an extent it is something we must all experience. But they can share it with us, carry some of it for us, carry us, and help us to heal. I think of the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane. The anguish and suffering he endured, for me, for all of us. How The Father must have anguished as well as He wathched His son endure it. But He watched one child suffer, so that He could save all the rest. I don't know how He did it without hiding His face and covering His ears. But I know He did. And I'm grateful.

Inspiring music...

I went to a Time Out for Women event this weekend where I had the opportunity to listen to Jenny Oaks Baker perform. She is a violinist who recieved her master's degree from Julliard, and played with the National Symphony for 7 years, before quitting to raise her family. I have often heard of her, but had never listened to any of her cds or heard her play. I now own two of her cds and intend to buy more.

I could never adequately describe the beauty of her playing. Her first two songs happened to be two of my favorite hymns: Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing and Be Still My Soul. I was so overwhelmed by the Spirit and the beauty of her playing that I couldn't help but weep. The emotion that she was able to pour into those pieces was astounding. How grateful I was to be able to witness and be blessed by her great talent.

A Serious Thing....

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no "ordinary" people. You have never talked to a mere mortal." ~C.S. Lewis

I heard this quote for the first time about a year ago. It was shared by Laurel Christenson at a Time Out for Women and Girls event that I went to with The Girly and some of our friends. On that day Laurel invited a 14 year old girl and her mother up to the stage. She asked all of us in the audience to look at this young woman and see her for who she truly is.....a daughter of God, with infinite worth and potential.....a possible goddess. She asked us to try to see her through Heavenly Father's eyes. Then, she asked us to stand and applaud, and cheer this girl for the royal spark within her. We went nuts. That beautiful young girl recieved a standing ovation the likes of which I have never seen or been part of. And something truly amazing happened. You could see the change come over her as we cheered....the overwhelming realization that she truly was of infinite worth....and deserving of all the applause. We cheered and applauded and cheered some more. After several minutes we were asked to be seated so that Sis Christenson could speak to this young woman. She was overwhelmed, as was her mother watching the wave of emotion that overcame her daughter. It was an honor to be a part of that experience. I wish it was one that every young person could experience.....to be cheered for who they truly are and the potential within them.

I came across this quote again last night and that experience of a year ago came rushing back. I wanted to record it.... as a reminder to myself.....and a challenge....to myself and any of you who may choose to take it...to try to look at all we meet with different eyes. To see them for who they truly are....children of Deity and therefore possible gods and goddesses. How much different would we treat each other if we tried to do this on a daily basis, and to help each other towards reaching that full potential within us?

Friends

"How good and glorious it has seemed unto me, to find pure and holy friends, who are faithful, just, and true, and whose hearts fail not; and whose knees are confirmed and do not falter, while they wait upon the Lord, in administering to my necessities..."

I found this quote from Joseph Smith while preparing a lesson for Relief Society last Sunday. I have been likewise blessed when it comes to friends.

So I share this quote in honor of my incredible friends, who bless my life with their strength, encouragement, and humor.

Surprise...he was listening!

So every now and then a kid will totally surprise you. Just when you're convinced that they aren't listening to a thing, especially anything YOU are saying, they go and do something to prove you wrong.

I ran into my next door neighbor today at Target. Though we live right next door to each other we seem to hardly ever see each other. So, anyway, I stop to chat with her for a few minutes and catch up a bit. She mentioned to me how much she likes my boys, and what nice kids they are. She asks what I think about what is happening politically in our country, and I suggested there may not be time to discuss it there at Target considering my passionate feelings on the matter as of late. I told her my poor kids get an earful on a regular basis and because of that are far more informed about what is going on than I EVER was at their age.

Then she tells me that she actually had a 45 min conversation with my son the other day about the political craziness going on these days. And she says, "He is very smart, and really had a lot to say about all of it." So I ask, "Oh were you talking to [Stitch]?" Assuming it was him because he is the most vocal and inquisitive about politics. But she surprises me and tells me it was Number One. You could have blown me over. He usually seems pretty oblivious to those conversations, and isn't too vocal about his feelings or opinions about anything that's going on. Most of the time I feel like everything we say goes in one ear and out the other, not just about politics, but about most stuff. So I was thrilled to hear that he IS listening. And that someone else was impressed about his knowledge and ability to express it. It gives me hope that other things are sinking in as well. And it makes me very proud...I mean what parent doesn't love hearing how terrific their kids are?

My own post-it.

I recieved my own post-it note this morning. A thoughtful reminder, from a loving daughter, that I can face any challenge with the Lord's help. I have been truly blessed. She is not just a wonderful daughter, but a good friend....and I love her to pieces.

Love is...leaving a post-it!

Isn't it amazing the way that siblings can fight like cats & dogs and then turn and do something incredibly sweet and loving for one another?

For the past two school years The Girly and Stitch seemed to argue just about evey morning while getting ready for school. One always claimed that the other was being annoying. But when Stitch realized that he would be getting ready for school alone this year, because The Girly was starting high school and morning seminary, he was not happy. He told all of us that he was worried it was going to be lonely and wierd without her in the morning.

So The Girly began doing something very thoughtful, to make Stitch feel better about the situation. Every school day morning since school began, she has left him a post-it note stuck to the bathroom door. Little words of encouragement and love. Stitch is saving every one and tucking them in his journal. He looks so forward to them every morning.

It makes my heart feel good to see their love for each other...expressed through the giving and cherishing of little post-it notes.

A thicker skin

I am fairly new to the world of striving to be an informed and politically active citizen. I spent far too long being innattentive and over trusting of the repesentatives I voted for. That all change about a year and a 1/2 ago. I work harder to be informed and to be braver about speaking my mind. Now I need to work on developing a thicker skin. Everywhere I look in the media, people like me are being called racists, hate-mongers, crazy, & gun-toting religious zealots. And because our grassroots protests are against the administration rather than for it, our voices are being dismissed. We are accused of merely being "astroturf", paid by big business to cause problems for the administration. Earlier this week all those names really got to me and sent me on a rant on my facebook page. That post spurred over 50 comments.

I've learned that if I'm going to keep speaking out, I have to toughen up. I've learned to do that where my religion is concerned, because I've been dealing with those misconceptions, false accusations and ridicule most of my life. I can pretty much blow those off now. I'm not there yet when it comes to politics. Maybe because I feel like I'm still learning. I know what feels right and wrong, but I'm still working on gathering the facts to back those instincts up. And since my memory for names and dates and details has never been fabulous, I lack confidence in my ability to present an intelligent, fact based argument. But I'm not going back to being part of the uniformed, and silent. (Though I'm sure there are members of my family that wish I would at least go back to being silent.)

It's the water inside the boat that sinks it.

"I apprehend no danger to our country from a foreign foe ... Our destruction, should it come at all, will be from another quarter. -- From the inattention of the people to the concerns of their government, from their carelessness and negligence, I must confess that I do apprehend some danger. I fear that they may place too implicit a confidence in their public servants, and fail properly to scrutinize their conduct; that in this way they may be made the dupes of designing men, and become the instruments of their own undoing. Make them intelligent, and they will be vigilant; give them the means of detecting the wrong, and they will apply the remedy."~ Daniel Webster (June1,1837)

I admit there are foes outside the country that I fear, but I am far more terrified of the foes within, because, as Representative Trent Franks stated the other night, at the town hall meeting I attended,"It is the water inside the boat that sinks it." We have far more to fear, at this point in history, from the enemies within our country who are trying to fundamentally change who we are as a nation, to change us from a democratic republic to a socialist one. I used to be one of those who was inattentive, and too confident that my repesentatives would never do anything to dismantle the foundation our founding fathers laid for us. I'm not inattentive anymore!! Mr Franks earned a degree of respect and trust from me last night, but I'll still be watching closely, I will never have implicit trust in a public servant again.

I want my children to see their mother as a woman who is politically informed, active and willing to speak to up. I want to be an example to them, so that they will never make the mistake that I did of being complacent and inattentive. That they question everything their government is doing to insure that they understand it, and know when they need to speak up in dissent. I LOVE my country, but I worry that if not enough of us wake up, and SPEAK up, my children will inherit a country that is nothing like the free country I grew up in.

I'm a Dork

Okay, I've decided I'm going senile....that or I'm just a complete dork!! Remember my little rant "Pass the Ibuprofen"? You know.....the one where I complain about not having a logical curriculum guide for teaching 1st grade math?! Well my wonderful sister-in-law posted a comment with a link that completely lays out a scope and sequence for math at all grade levels, complete with lesson plans.....And she's going to get copies of some materials, and ordering info for other materials that go with the lesson plans I need. You see, SHE IS A FIRST GRADE TEACHER!..... A fact that apparently completely slipped my mind during my ranting and stressing out the past two weeks! Soooo, as I stated at the beginning, I have come to the conclusion I'm either senile or a total dork....because any NORMAL person would have thought to call her right away.

So thanks M for saving my keester, and making my school year a lot less stressful! I love ya! You are just more proof that I married very well!

The Joy of Rain

As we were preparing to leave a farewell gathering for our friend Sarah (off to BYU), it started to rain. And then as we drove home it started to POUR!! It was wonderful!! There was lightning all around us...beautiful, bright lightening! Rain is such a scarce thing around here, and lightning storms so beautiful, that they often draw people out of there homes...to watch, and marvel, soak in the moisture, and breathe in the clean, refreshing smell of rain. Lightening storms are near the top of the list of reasons I love Arizona.....and one of the many wonders of nature that truly bring me joy.

Connecting through technology...

Have I mentioned that I LOVE Facebook?! I love that I have found old friends I haven't seen in years....decades even. I love that I have more regular contact with friends and family that don't live close. And I love that I have been able to strengthen new friendships through chatter online. I feel more connected to all the people I don't get to see on a daily basis....and that makes me happy!

Number One

My firstborn, here to be called Number One, is feeling a bit left out because he is the only one in the family that has not yet been blogged about. So here goes....

Where do I start? He was the child who introduced me to motherhood, and hence, taught me the meaning of true, instant, unconditional love. I saw a plaque once that read: I never believed in love at first sight until the day that you were born. That is how I felt when I first saw him. I always thought I understood how much my parents loved me, until the moment the doctor laid him on my chest...and I realized that until that very moment I really hadn't had the slightest clue. No amount of imagining comes anywhere close to that feeling.

As far as babies go, and even toddlers, he was darn near perfect. Hated to be dirty, wouldn't put things in his mouth that didn't belong there, didn't like climbing or anything else too adventurous or dangerous, and only had to be told once to stay out of the kitchen cupboards. He was almost too good. He got over it! Ha, Ha

He is a senior in high school this year. Totally scary. He and I,...oh, and Dad too...have gone through some struggles to get him here. School does not come as easily to him as it did to me, and there were a few years in elementary school that I thought it might kill us both, but he keeps plugging along.

He is creative and funny. Loves art and humor, dragons and kokopellis. And, as became very apparent to us at his 17th birthday party, where he and his friends were making s'mores and singing showtimes, he's a theater geek. Interesting how kids end up with such different interests than their parents. But then, my Grammie did community theater...he must get that from her. (sudden epiphany on that one)

I'm not sure what career field he'll head into, not sure he's certain either, but this I know...he will be a good dad! He has so much patience with little kids....always has....and they just seem to love him. He'll be one of those dad that's always playing with the kids, because he'll always be a bit of a kid at heart.

He's a good kid with a good heart!....a gentleman....even a good brother....when he feels so inclined. (hee,hee) And he's not too grown or embarrased to kiss his mother goodbye in public. (gotta give him extra credit for that) Overall, I'd say I got pretty lucky in the kid department...and it all started with Number One.

Sleepless In Peoria

It is 6:15 on a Saturday morning. I should be upstairs, dreaming peacefully, enjoying the chance to sleep in...but I'm not. It's not that I'm not tired, as a matter of fact, I'm yawning as I write this, but for some stupid reason my body has decided it is finished sleeping...and has been for a good 40 minutes. This might not be so bad if I had gone to bed at 9:00 last night, but my eyelids didn't get droopy until after 11:00.

I have been a night person for as long as I can remember. Even now, most nights I would have no problem staying up 'til midnight or later. During the summers I still occassionally do. On those nights I usually tell myself I have to go to bed, rather than my body telling me it needs to sleep.

The problem is, that over the years I have been forced to become more of a morning person as well. I understand that it is necessary that I be up early during the week, and that I be functional as well....but it would be far easier to do if I could sleep more than 5 or 6 hours!!!! And on the weekends, when I COULD sleep in I SHOULD be able to!! But NOOOOO!!!!

It should be biologically impossible to be both a night person AND a morning person! RIGHT?!! I mean seriously!!!

I must be genetically flawed somehow!! Just one more annowing trait that I have inherited, like the thick eyebrows and mustache that I've had since high school, and the chin hairs that started a decade ago. Oh, and then there's the fact that I'm still dealing with zits while at the same time battling wrinkles....How unfair is that!!! Bad joints, veiny legs, and the tendency to make wierd noises as I'm falling asleep....just some of the things I owe to my DNA.

And now...I don't sleep!

I'd try to delude myself, and say that it will get better, but I know how well my mom sleeps at night....and I'm doomed! I will just be perpetually tired for the rest of my life!

Pass the Ibuprofen!

My brain hurts!! "Why?" you ask. Before I answer that question, let me just repeat that I am grateful to have a job.....really! Having said that, my job may just give me migraines this year. I'm teaching reading again this year, without any set curriculum, so I have to come up with my own. Well, I did that last year and I'm teaching the same level again so I'm not too stressed. It's phonics and early reading skills....I have a few different programs to draw from and a basic plan that I tweek as I need to as I go along. More work than having a curriculum all laid out for you with lesson plans and all.....but doable.

The reason for the brain pain is that I am also teaching math this year. Should be easy right?...Just go through the math book, teach the lessons in order, and supplement where needed. No such luck!! There IS a math program to use...it consists of about 7 different binders...one for counting, one for addition, one for subtraction, etc. It's a program I haven't used before. I asked in what order the binders should be taught. I was told that there isn't any particular order, that I should move around from binder to binder however I like.

HOWEVER I LIKE????!!! Seriously??!!

I know there has to be some logical order to how the skills should be taught...some spiraling sequence which builds one skill upon another...but I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!! I haven't taught first grade math before!!!! I've been searching the interenet for some general outline that I can use, but the few outlines I've found are a bit toooo general!! I'm starting to feel a sharp stabbing pain behind my left eye!!

My Stitch

This is my youngest. In a few short months he will be a teenager (which means I was 12 when he was born - hehe). He is a Scorpio, but really should have been a Gemini.....because there are two different personalities living in that adorable head of his. If he were a Disney character he would be Stitch. Ironically enough, Stitch is his favorite...perhaps because he identifies with him. You see, Stitch can be sweet and good, albeit a bit mischievious,....a good friend. But Stitch can also be a monster, leaving chaos in his wake.

My Stitch is a bit like that. The quintessential little brother, he knows how to push EVERY button to get a rise out his siblings (and his parents). His favorite activity as a toddler was to drag his older sister through the house by her collar, giggling and laughing as she cried and screamed. He has a short fuse...quick to get angry. And he will argue about anything and EVERYTHING!!

But my Stitch has a BIG heart. He was the best cuddler and snuggler as an infant and toddler....and always the one most likely to break away from playing to give me a spontaneous hug and "I love you." He is incredibly compassionate, and a loyal friend. He is bright and funny. He thinks deeply about things, and surprises me at times with his insights. He stands up for what is right, defends the underdog and befriends the outcast. He is unafraid to talk about the gospel with others....and speaks to them in terms of it being fact, not just belief. He is going to be an awesome missionary.

Yes there are times I think I will pull out all my hair in exasperation dealing with his monster side...But I am always incredibly grateful and proud to be his mom...because the big hearted, other side of him more than makes up for the exasperation.

Another Summer Gone

I start back to work on Wednesday....sigh....and though I am VERY grateful to have a job, and am really looking forward to getting a paycheck again, I'm not ready. It's too soon. You see I had this plan, a list, of all the things I was going to accomplish this summer.....and I'm not done! This shouldn't surprise me, because I NEVER finish the list, but every summer I'm so hopeful that this will be the year.

• I haven't read a book in two months....should have managed to read at least 3 or 4.
• I haven't scrapbooked, beaded, or done any family history research.....though I planned to do each at least a few hours a week.
• I haven't painted the bathrooms.....but I bought the paint for one.
• I didn't deep clean the house from top to bottom....barely kept it decent enough for company.
• Never had lunch with three friends that I meant to.
• Never finished the food storage inventory or reworked the menu.

I could thoroughly depress myself by continuing this list!! So maybe it's time to think about what I DID accomplish.

• I painted the kitchen and family room in a shade of light periwinkle blue....that I absolutely love.
• I cropped a bunch of pants into shorts for the kids.
• Helped to purge and clean the kids bedrooms.
• Went on a vacation to San Diego where I got to relax with the family.
• Had some good conversations with my kids.
• Went to girls camp.
• Made new friends & strengthened old friendships.
• Started a blog.
• Got a Facebook page.
• Learned to text.
• Saw Wicked!
• Went to my first midnight movie showing (Harry Potter -- awesome).
• Tried a new recipe.
• Started journaling online.
• Got some family photos hung on the wall.
• AND started an exercise routine that I have actually stuck to and will be able to continue even when work starts.

That list makes me feel better. Maybe it's time to start keeping better track of the things I do get done instead of just the things I don't. I'm thinking if it's not on the list, but I do it, I should write it on the list and then cross it off!!

How often in life do we focus on the things we don't get done....focus on our weaknesses, instead of giving ourselves credit for all that we do, and do well. We, especially women, tend to be our own worst critics. Why is that? Why is it easier to see the bad in ourselves than the good? I know that we should be humble, but surely it's possible to be humble and still recognize our own worth and talent, and give ourselves a pat on the back once in awhile. Maybe if we all made more of an effort to point out the good we see in each other, commend each other for jobs well done, maybe we'd start to see more of the good in ourselves. I for one think I'm gonna give it a try.

Goodbye Sweet Addie

Last night was a hard one....filled with tears, and prayers, and disbelief. We learned that the 12 year old daughter of friends was killed in a car accident and her 8 year old sister was in critical condition in the hospital. They were caravaning with extended family, while on vacation in Utah, and the girls were in another car. The cousin who was driving was also killed, and three others are in the hospital as well.

I can't begin to fathom what they are going through. Coming upon an accident and discovering that it is your family...your children...broken and hurt. How do you grieve for one child and still hold it together enough to care for the others? I can't get my brain around it.

I know that they will see their daughter again, I KNOW it! I know that she is in paradise, in the loving arms of family. But a part of me still wants to scream that no parent should have to bury a child. Somehow it seems easier to find peace in that eternal perspective when the person who has gone has lived a fuller life....had the chance to grow up.

And what do I say to this friend when she comes home and I see her again? Somehow "I'm so sorry" doesn't seem enough, but what else do I say? My heart aches for her.

Her daughter was a sweet, beautiful girl....who whenever she saw me would break out in a big smile and wrap me in a huge bear hug....though I was never certain what I had ever done to deserve that reaction from her. She had a good heart, always happy and kind. It's hard to believe that her mission in this life was done.....that there wasn't a need for her light to remain here longer. I trust that the Lord has His reasons for taking her home. It's just hard not knowing what they are...but I guess that's where the trust comes in isn't it?

Though her beautiful spirit will be missed, and her loss difficult for those who love her to bear, I know that the Lord will help them through the heartache. And friends will share what burdens they can. Somehow all who miss her will be strengthened and grow from this experience....though at the moment it is hard to see how.

So to sweet little Addie....know that you are loved by many, and will be sorely missed. Reach out to your parents and siblings, and let them know that your spirit is still close. And I hope that when I see you once again you will still be just as happy to see me, and that you will smile that big beautiful smile at me and wrap me in a great big hug.

Sorry Ladies, He's Mine!

This is my darling husband. Pretty dang cute, huh?!! I have had the extreme fortune of being his wife for 19 years, 1 month, and 9 days. I love him to death!!

He makes me laugh everyday...and would have me believe that I am the hottest, sexiest, best looking woman around. I love him for that. (Though sometimes I worry that his eyes are going because the woman I see in the mirror is not as hot as he claims!)

He is a terrific husband...far more thoughful than I...and a fantastic dad. He works very hard to take care of all of us. OH!..and he is the BEST at picking out presents! I really hit the jackpot when I found him. As my dad said today.."He's a keeper!!"

Though we have always thought a lot alike it started getting freaky when we hit the 15 year mark. We started to find our selves thinking and/or saying things at the same time. If we only had a dollar for everytime one of us said, "I was just thinking the same thing" or "I was just about to say that." (But somebody PLEASE shoot us if we ever become one of those old couples who dress exactly alike! ha.ha)

I enjoy being with him....he's my best friend. And I'm pretty sure that eternity with him is gonna be a blast!

Cholla Girls Rock!!!

I spent last night with a group of those good women I mentioned in my last post. We all met in 1995 when my husband and I, along with our first two children, then ages 3 and 3 months, moved to Phoenix and into the then Cholla Ward. We were quickly pulled in by a sister in the ward who began to introduce us to a band of friends that would, over the coming years, become our extended family. To say I love these women would be an understatement -- they're AMAZING!!! (And in all honesty their husbands are pretty rockin' too)

The cool thing about last night is that the planning of it started because my BFF and I wanted to get together with the daughters of these friends. See, we watched these girls grow up. I was one of their Young Women leaders. Our families went on ward campouts together, had family nights together, and got together to hang out, just because. And as these girls have gotten older and become adults they've moved beyond being the daughters of friends, to being friends.

So last night we had two generations of women gathered together to hang out for some strictly girl time. We talked, we ate, and we laughed ALOT!! Some of us even sang and danced!! (Ofcourse it's hard NOT to when you're watching Mama Mia!! Who can sit still when ABBA is playing?!) It was FABULOUS!!! I wish we could do it more often!! .....And I wish one of us had thought to get a picture!

So,..... Sarah, Melissa, Brittiny, Dani, Peri, Alecia, Katelyn, Amanda, Denene, Elaine, Kathy, Pam & Rhonda......thanks for a GREAT night!!!! Joleen & Katelyn...so sorry you weren't able to be with us. I'll love ya all forever!

Here's to Good Women

As a thank you gift for being a leader at girl's camp I received a plaque a with the following quote:

Here's to Good Women:

May We Know Them,

May We Be Them,

May We Raise Them.

I love it! We all need good women in our lives, at every stage of life. Good women teach us, listen to us, laugh with us, cry with us, and keep us sane.

Those older than us help us by sharing their experience and teaching us that we're not going through anything that hasn't been experienced before by many others.

Those in the same stage of life we are let us know we're not in it alone.

And those younger than us keep us energized and excited about life, and make us feel like the wise ones. (Okay I admit, sometimes they just make us feel old.)

The point is, I could not survive without other women. Nor would I want to try.

All of my women, and young women, friends fill a different need. There are those that I call when I need a shoulder to cry on and those that I call when I need to laugh so hard that I pee my pants. Those that I know will help me carry any load and laugh my way through it. Some of these women have filled each need at some point in my life. Some are far more than friends...they are sisters.

I have an incredible, ever expanding, circle of women around me. They are my lifeline to sanity, or insanity when that's what I need. They let me be who I am and encourage me toward who I want to be.

I hope that in Heaven we can all live on the same big cul de sac, where we can continue to love and share our lives together......and get together to laugh over pie or pazookies!

My Other Mom

The topic of todays post comes thanks to my sister, who yet again is dealing with "mother-in-law issues." She and her mother-in-law have a horrendous relationship....to put it nicely.

I on the otherhand have been tremendously blessed in the mother-in-law department. There is a reason that my husband is the wonderful man that he is -- he has a wonderful mother. She is kind and generous, and I love being around her. We share the first name, we just spell it differently, and still occasionly recieve each others mail as a result. I called her mom right from the start..... long before Brian and I started talking marriage....I probably should have taken that as a sign.

It is no exaggeration to say that I consider her one of my best friends. We think a like in a lot of ways and enjoy spending time together. Some of our favorite activities are shopping (especially the day after Thanksgiving and Christmas), going to the Harvest Festival, talking politics (or anything else) , and eating dessert for breakfast -- we are especially good at that one!!

My friends and sisters are admittedly jealous -- and I certainly can't blame them. I have definitely been blessed!

Why me?

I woke up at 4:20 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Something Pam talked about at the memorial service yesterday kept running through my brain. She said that she went to visit her mom at the hospital one day, after struggling with the question of why this was happening to her mother. She sat on Myrna's bed and asked if she ever asked herself the question "Why me?" "Why did I get leukemia?"

Myrna's answer was a profound one....a life lesson for us all! She told Pam that whenever she asked "WHY?" it was "Why am I so blessed?"

Why am I blessed with such a loving husband?

Why am I blessed with such a wonderful family?

Why am I blessed with such loyal friends?

Why am I blessed to have a knowledge of the gospel?

Why am I blessed with a nice house....good food for my family....the beauties of this earth....air in my lungs?!

The list is endless!

So here's what I've decided -- I am going to make the effort everyday to ask myself why I am so blessed with certain things in my life...and to share those questions here, at least on occasion, and/or to write them in my journal.

Here is my first question, one I have been thinking about for a week:

Why am I blessed with such an amazing daughter?

Perhaps this thought has been running through my head because I just had the opportunity to be with her at girl's camp, to see how she interacted with others, and to hear her bare her testimony. I watched her in awe...wondering what I ever did to deserve her. She is such a gift! She is such a light!....and always has been. I swear that girl was born smiling. The kind of smile that lights up her whole face...and the room.

She has a personality that draws people to her like a magnet....friendly and kind to everyone. One of the girls in her third grade class walked up to me one day and said, "Katelyn is the kindest person I know." She looks out for the outsider, the person hanging out on the fringes, and pulls them in, because she knows how bad it feels to be left out and doesn't want anyone else to feel that.

She has a strong sense of who she is and what she believes in....and she lives it! She doesn't let the opinions of others affect her standards. At a time when so many teenagers follow every fad, and give in to the slightest pressure from their peers, that is amazing! She sets an example others can follow...an example of kindness, compassion, modesty, and finding the joy in life.

And one of the greatest blessings is that she likes me! She enjoys doing things with her mom and isn't embarrassed by me. I know that not all moms of teenage girls are so blessed. I always had a good relationship with my mom growing up, and prayed that I would have the same with my daughter. Happily that is a blessing I have received.

I may never know just what I did to deserve her...but I will be ever grateful that I have been so blessed as to have her in my life!!!

Eternal Perspective

I originally posted this on Facebook this afternoon, but thought I would share it here as well.

My family just came home a little while ago from the memorial service for a phenomenal woman -- Myrna Pratt. She was an example of unwavering faith and Christlike love to everyone around her. She was the type of woman I want to be. I had the priviledge of living in the Cholla/Moon Valley ward with her and her dear husband Wayne for many years, of teaching her youngest daughter in Young Women's, and getting to be friends with her daughter Pam. All you have to do is look at the wonderful people that her children are to get a glimpse at the type of person she is. Her children paid a beautiful tribute to her today in the songs and words that they shared about their beloved mother. She is such a bright spirit that I believe even those who saw her infrequently or only knew her as an acquaintance will feel the loss of her light.

But isn't it wonderful to know that she is not really gone?! What a blessing it is to know the restored gospel of Jesus Christ...to know that she and all our loved ones, though no longer visible to us, live on in another sphere. To know that she was greeted by the loving, open arms of family that had gone before her...and that she in turn will be waiting to meet her own beautiful family again....That none of us will walk into the next portion of our journey alone, but will be guided and greeted by family and friends.

I had the great blessing of spending time with my Grandma Ann in the weeks leading up to her death, and being with her when she passed....and I KNOW that her family, especially her children that had preceded her, started gathering to comfort and ease that transition for her. As the veil grew thinner she would see them...and speak with them. What a comfort it was to me to know that they were there for her.

I am so grateful for my testimony of the gospel...for an eternal perspective, that helps to ease the loss of family and friends, because I know the loss of their company is only temporary. Our loving Heavenly Father, with our beloved older brother Jesus Christ, has prepared a way for us all to be together again, to spend eternity as families, in the company of those we love most.

Speeding into the 21st century?

I've thought about starting a blog for awhile now, but have been intimidated by the idea of trying to come up with entries that anyone other than me would find interesting. Not sure why today I finally decided to give it a go, but here I am. I'm sure my husband will be SHOCKED!! This may just be the thing that blows him over. Last month I got a new phone, the first that I picked out for myself, with a full keyboard so that I could finally start texting like everyone else. My husband sent me my first text ....welcoming me to the 21st centry! Then, two weeks ago, I opened a Facebook account...the first in our household to do so...he found it so humorous he had to take a picture of me on the computer. Now a blog...from the one person in the house who is the most technologically challenged...he may just fall over.