Can I have a day?

I want a day.......a day to just do what I WANT to do, not what I should do, or need to do.

It feels like every moment these days is filled with the shoulds and need to's....lesson plans, grocery shopping, shuttling kids, figuring out what the heck to have for dinner and when I'm gonna have time to cook it, fulfilling church callings, and my all time favorites...laundry and cleaning. With a mom who works full time at a job that can't always be left at the office, a dad working hard to stay afloat in a job threatening to be sunk by a bad economy, and three kids who insist on having extracurricular activities 4-5 nights a week, the house is rarely truly clean anymore. When it is we try to motivate everyone to clean as we go to keep it that way, but it never works out that way for long. So moments where I don't feel compelled to do a should or need to task are rare. And I seriously want one.

A day to sew....... the apron I cut out two weeks ago, or the bag that I'm going to make with the beautiful toile nativity fabric remnant I found, or the tote a friend at work asked for. A day to pull out my beads, or photos and scrapbook supplies, and see what inspires me. A day to spend on the computer researching family history and finding lost ancestors. A day to pull out the camera and go outside and experiment with it, taking pictures of whatever sparks my interest. Or a day to just get lost in book. Can I have one? Just one day to do that?

I may have to give myself one or two for Christmas.....Throw out the to do list, or at least "lose it" for a few days, and just do a thing or two, or three or four, that I really want. Ofcourse I've said that before. So here's hoping I find the nerve to really do it this time.......because all those need to's and shoulds will certainly still be there even if I ignore them for a couple days.

No more candid camera

I love candid shots of my kids. Some of the best photos I have ever gotten of them are ones that were taken when they didn't know it......When someone managed to catch a priceless expression, or simply beautiful moment.

HOWEVER, I am hereby declaring that NO candid shots of ME are ever allowed again!!! EVER!!!! As I scrolled through another batch of digital photos to be downloaded from the camera tonight, I came across yet ANOTHER horrible picture of myself. My sweet husband seems to have a knack for catching me with my mouth open and some ridiculous expression on my face. And the angles he seems to shoot at make me look terrible. I mean I thought the camera was only supposed to add 10 pounds, not 20 or 30! UGH!! I am starting to understand why my mother always hid whenever a camera was in the room. SOOOOO.......unless I recieve warning that a picture is about to be taken, and am given time to at least TRY to pose in a more flattering manner, HEADS WILL ROLL!!! (Do you hear me Honey!!) I'd like for my grandchildren to have at least a few decent photos of their grandma to look at, so they don't think I was just some large, freakish, slug!

(And NO.....I'm not posting any examples for anyone to look at!!)

Sleepless In Peoria

It is 6:15 on a Saturday morning. I should be upstairs, dreaming peacefully, enjoying the chance to sleep in...but I'm not. It's not that I'm not tired, as a matter of fact, I'm yawning as I write this, but for some stupid reason my body has decided it is finished sleeping...and has been for a good 40 minutes. This might not be so bad if I had gone to bed at 9:00 last night, but my eyelids didn't get droopy until after 11:00.

I have been a night person for as long as I can remember. Even now, most nights I would have no problem staying up 'til midnight or later. During the summers I still occassionally do. On those nights I usually tell myself I have to go to bed, rather than my body telling me it needs to sleep.

The problem is, that over the years I have been forced to become more of a morning person as well. I understand that it is necessary that I be up early during the week, and that I be functional as well....but it would be far easier to do if I could sleep more than 5 or 6 hours!!!! And on the weekends, when I COULD sleep in I SHOULD be able to!! But NOOOOO!!!!

It should be biologically impossible to be both a night person AND a morning person! RIGHT?!! I mean seriously!!!

I must be genetically flawed somehow!! Just one more annowing trait that I have inherited, like the thick eyebrows and mustache that I've had since high school, and the chin hairs that started a decade ago. Oh, and then there's the fact that I'm still dealing with zits while at the same time battling wrinkles....How unfair is that!!! Bad joints, veiny legs, and the tendency to make wierd noises as I'm falling asleep....just some of the things I owe to my DNA.

And now...I don't sleep!

I'd try to delude myself, and say that it will get better, but I know how well my mom sleeps at night....and I'm doomed! I will just be perpetually tired for the rest of my life!

Pass the Ibuprofen!

My brain hurts!! "Why?" you ask. Before I answer that question, let me just repeat that I am grateful to have a job.....really! Having said that, my job may just give me migraines this year. I'm teaching reading again this year, without any set curriculum, so I have to come up with my own. Well, I did that last year and I'm teaching the same level again so I'm not too stressed. It's phonics and early reading skills....I have a few different programs to draw from and a basic plan that I tweek as I need to as I go along. More work than having a curriculum all laid out for you with lesson plans and all.....but doable.

The reason for the brain pain is that I am also teaching math this year. Should be easy right?...Just go through the math book, teach the lessons in order, and supplement where needed. No such luck!! There IS a math program to use...it consists of about 7 different binders...one for counting, one for addition, one for subtraction, etc. It's a program I haven't used before. I asked in what order the binders should be taught. I was told that there isn't any particular order, that I should move around from binder to binder however I like.

HOWEVER I LIKE????!!! Seriously??!!

I know there has to be some logical order to how the skills should be taught...some spiraling sequence which builds one skill upon another...but I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!! I haven't taught first grade math before!!!! I've been searching the interenet for some general outline that I can use, but the few outlines I've found are a bit toooo general!! I'm starting to feel a sharp stabbing pain behind my left eye!!